#ABetterYouIsABetterMe

  T here was a game called, “Cry Uncle.” The concept of “crying uncle” was meant to admit defeat, or begging for mercy. Personally, I loathe the game because I found it to be a form of bullying to force someone into submission. Hold that thought.  I recall a time, many years ago,  when my brother called out for our mom. He was in a certain location in close proximity to where our mother would be alive (lived) last. But she had long been deceased when this happened. So it felt a tad eerie; him beckoning for her. That said, because he was under the influence of substance at the time—his cry was relegated to him being in an induced state of mind. But it hit me differently—I “felt” it was something deeper—but it was just a “feeling.”  I had nothing to substantiate what it was—other than it warranting sadness for him—sadness for us.  Now fast forward many years later— tons of research papers and degrees later; I know something that I didn’t know or understand back th...

T his   Monday morning—the 22nd of June 2026, I am grateful. I awakened this morning, in my own bed, feeling as if I had dreamt the last 24-48 hours because surely there was no way all of the people I interacted, connected and talked with could have happened in real time. There is no way that I could have physically traveled from my home  in Maryland, to Georgia and back in the time that it takes me to drive from home to Dover, Delaware and experience the magnitude of magnificence that was my weekend. D uring this ”time-travel” I met, interacted, and had full blown conversations with once strangers who are now in my contacts. People that asked me about myself and I, in exchange, learned who they were. We talked about our experiences, aspirations, challenges, and things that made us happy and proud. I met aspiring, and actual authors, and exchanged ideas and resources. I stopped into a diner for a bite to eat where I had the good pleasure of meeting (sitting alongside) an airpl...

I felt compelled to share this illustration because even though and when we show up—even once we grow up, even while we are leveling up this does not mean we do so perfectly without any hurt, struggle, and pain. Sometimes (assuredly) we show up while there’s still a deficit in another area of our lives. We absolutely cannot wait until everything is fixed up, cleared up, and looking up if we want to see change in our individual or collective lives. The paradox of our humanity is that these stages, phases and conditions of our existence co-exist. I believe that one of the reasons that people experience “imposter syndrome” (and I dislike the concept) is because they are being celebrated and perhaps elevated while they know that every area of their life does not line up with their perceived “success” or promotion. So they feel hypocritical. But I believe if we are not doing or striving to do things that are uncomfortable but growth adjacent—if we are not feeling stretched beyond where we ...

Abyss : the bottomless gulf, pit, or chaos of the old cosmogonies. (Definition & Meaning according to Merriam-Webster) I listened to a short clip from Pebo Bryson. It was a heartfelt message of gratitude to healthcare professionals, workers and providers. Firefighters, patient transport, emergency services, doctors, nurses and care technicians, etc.  He went on to say, “You don’t know how important they all are until you need them. They are the only ones standing between you and the abyss.”  That statement frazzled me a little. The choice of the word “abyss” felt taunting and daunting. I couldn’t wrap my brain around it. Consequently,  I responded audibly, though I was by myself in the room. I was struck by his reference of the “abyss”, especially while at the same time, I was looking at these absolutely amazing pictures of the most beautiful feline creatures that my daughter was looking at in real time at a zoo in Chicago. ( Shared here ). And I said, Abyss? Really?...

  A s I sit here at my dining room table, writing this blog up in real-time—I ponder this being the last Sunday of December—the last Sunday of 2025. Oh my! What a year 2025 has been. And if my mind were to go only towards the “news”, and current state of affairs that we are experiencing collectively—I would be distracted from all that the year has entailed and been for me personally. Yet, if my mind were to go straight into all of the devastating loss of family this year—I would be completely overwhelmed and distracted from how even in the midst of it all —I have experienced literal miracles that are (otherwise) unexplainable, this year. Some of which are so deeply personal, that I can’t share here. And while I am of the mindset that our existences are intertwined—I am not in denial that we all have our own unique lives, problems, and crosses to bear. We, undoubtedly, will need to be prudent, good stewards, and creative concerning the year and future ahead—we can’t bury our heads i...

             W e buried another loved one today—my nephew. And needless say, my mind has been all over the place. And so have I. In the last 48 hours I made 6 round trips up and down 95 north and south. No real time to sit—process and think, but I found myself being extremely grateful as arrived home safely again today. Through my busyness and hurt —I am still grateful. Although I only slept 4 hours (to bed at 4:00am—up again at 8:00a, I felt compelled to walk through the community to help settle my mind a bit. It’s a slow pace—barely a stroll. And despite it all, I am grateful for the traveling mercies that I never take for granted. And my family—I am grateful for my family. And  like the contrast of these beautiful images along my slow stride —I too feel the symbolism of a weeping willow tree and yet the wonder of colorful brilliance of blossoms blooming . I often subscribe colors to the seasons of my life —and isn’t ironic that—this is what I h...

In the past I have shared playlists that I listen to while writing for inspiration—and similarly I  listen to music when I am reading. So, this playlist is (for me) the soundtrack that was created as my story unfolded. It speaks to the heart-PLACEs of the characters—it embodies the spirit of the story, its characters, the highs, lows—ebbs and flows of growth and emotions that accompanied their journeys.  I am actually looking forward to listening to it again when I have my finished book in my hands—and I am reading it, for the first time, as a reader and not the author.🎶📖 📚  ✍🏾  And I hope you enjoy it and that it invites you into the future pages that will accompany it! THIARP Playlist: https://bit.ly/4meMZQo #THEHEARTISAREALPLACE #TheSoundtrackthatevolved #Cshaw #BEWHOYOUSAYYOUARE #ABETTERYOUISABETTERME🌹 #Writer_Author #WrtingCommunity

  “Image when you were a child playing on the “see-saw” that you were being introduced to a metaphor about LIFE.” A pril 16th —23rd I was traveling to—through—and from what was a delightful, exciting, time of exuberance and paradise ✈️ 🏝️🌴☀️       April 24th —I was just about to sit with a cup a tea at my laptop—and paused to answer an incoming call from my great-niece—all I remember is leaping from my laptop up stairs bellowing out what could only be described as wailing; surely a sound that reached the heart and ears of God. 💔        April 25th I was catapulted into a life altering reality—the death of my niece LaTosha—Haleemah.🕊️🕯️ M ay 11th I was attending the most exquisite, gorgeous Mother’s Day brunch befitting for a Queen. ☀️🌺🥂        May 16th I was seeing my one and only grandchild off to his senior prom—surreal. 🌟💙       May 18th I spent the day in a beautiful Maryland town —gathered for a...

  LIFE is a complex melody—that can change  its rhythm just when you think you’ve mastered the dance. Life can swing its pendulum from sanctuary to sorrow right when you are making plans for tomorrow—taking you from plans cemented to life disoriented in a matter of seconds.  LIFE  has a way of teaching over and over again—it is a gift to you—and to see it—live it—handle it —and LOVE it accordingly.  I feel LIFE very, very differently in this moment from anything I have ever experienced or felt before. And I am questioning —how that’s even possible considering all the others before? And I don’t know what this means… but I do know that in the last 24–48 hours I went from sanctuary to sorrow —plans cemented are now disoriented. My vision is blurred literally and figuratively—my heart is shattered which feels literal even if it’s not—something in my stomach feels like it’s a knot.  LIFE is but a dream—that’s what they say—and maybe that’s what this is. So, ...

Just as I was grabbing napkins to cover and dry my face of the downpour of tears that gushed out of nowhere this morning—while sitting at the restaurant table waiting on my meal—I received a text from a colleague—“I can feel your heart in this moment, and know that I am lifting you and your family up in prayer.” I thanked her and let her know that I needed and appreciated her prayers. The simultaneous text reminded me of the nearness of God that has always shown up for me.  And the depth of my “brokenheartedness”, in this moment is something with its own original intensity.  And I think I understand why that is. And perhaps understanding that will aid in my healing journey.        The morning before leaving Costa Rica —I sat at the breakfast table with a friend. And I tried to avoid telling her of the strange “feeling” of my baby brother Michael’s presence around me… I questioned why is this—literally what’s happening right now? Thinking, “Perhaps it’s beca...

  There’s this thin line of expression that we navigate right? …. especially with social media. I am admittedly the first to clutch pearls and teeth at over expressing (TMI)🙄 😬. Yet in a seemingly hypocritical swaying kind of way …. I do it too. Surely, as a writer—chronicler, podcaster, and blogger—I tend do so under those guises.        That said, someone shared with me that she recently muffled her expression of mourning over the loss of her mother because someone said to her, “You are not the only one to lose your mother and at some point you have to move on.” Which     is by far the most insulting and insensitive thing I’ve heard. But that’s not the emphasis here.          And of course there are researchers—largely psychology researchers that watch, assess, review and evaluate all of this stuff on social media platforms —around emotional content, virality, semantic space theory, and what helps predict social media post ...