Grieving LaTosha Chronicles🕊️🕯️🤍

 


There’s this thin line of expression that we navigate right? …. especially with social media. I am admittedly the first to clutch pearls and teeth at over expressing (TMI)🙄 😬. Yet in a seemingly hypocritical swaying kind of way …. I do it too. Surely, as a writer—chronicler, podcaster, and blogger—I tend do so under those guises. 

     

That said, someone shared with me that she recently muffled her expression of mourning over the loss of her mother because someone said to her, “You are not the only one to lose your mother and at some point you have to move on.” Which  is by far the most insulting and insensitive thing I’ve heard. But that’s not the emphasis here. 

     And of course there are researchers—largely psychology researchers that watch, assess, review and evaluate all of this stuff on social media platforms —around emotional content, virality, semantic space theory, and what helps predict social media post sharing. etc., and for most of us—who cares?—but we probably should. But that’s not the emphasis here. But whatever the reasons—I’m not exempt from it. And that isn’t the emphasis here either. 


     What I will emphasize is that I share because I love the gravitas of transparency—it’s cathartic for me. And in the time—seemingly more than any other time in my life—I need the cathartic energy.


   So, I was asked this morning, “How do you feel?” I paused as I inhaled—and then breathed out—and began speaking through falling tears….

    “I feel pain so intense that it’s in my skin, my fingers, my eyelids—I am hurting so deeply that my skin feels too heavy for my body—and I wish I could come out from underneath it.” There was an awkward silence—and God knows I understood the silence. Because so often when “strong **Black** women” express vulnerability—it leaves listeners speechless—even professional listeners. I know in many cases —especially in “our” culture—showing up as the, “Strong Black Woman (SBW)” is generally a trauma response —and I have long began the process of rejecting that as my personal mantra and identity. And, “I am not hopeless.” I said.

     I have wonderful children, a great job—a blooming writing career—and terrific family and friends—and a relatively decent quality of life that I enjoy. So, despite the heaviness of my heart … even the weight of living in my skin right now —I am not hopeless. In fact, I know that hope is my super power. And for that reason, I face the day. I still have to show up for my life—all of it. And perhaps that’s what strength really is.🌹🙏🏾


#abetteryouisabetterme®️ 

#Cshaw

#grievingchronicles

#mourning

#God

#processing

#griefcounseling

#Tosha🕯️🕊️🤍🌹

#HaleemaRichardson

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