#ABetterYouIsABetterMe

D ear December, T hank you! The month of my birth — the month that God pre-ordained that I’d enter the earth.  Thank you Dear December   for allowing me to occupy space and time on your calendar — made all the more an honor because it’s the month I celebrate the birth of my Savior Jesus Christ.             It’s safe to say you are my favorite month of the year. A month that from childhood through now has provided me with some of the happier, more pleasant, joy and family-filled times of my life.              Dear December, I am eternally grateful to see you come around again because that means I’ve been blessed to get another year older — a privilege that I don’t take for granted or assume that I will get again. So, I look to you for the inspiration that you tend to bring. You are the month that seemingly brings with it an anticipation, hope and joy that revives, ...

I ’m 58 years old and my oldest living brother is 80. For the first time in my (our) lives, three months ago, we heard each other’s voice on the phone—we had NEVER spoken to each other before over the phone. And to be perfectly honest, we’ve never really talked much to each other at all during our lifetimes. I would imagine we’d still have a couple of fingers left to use if we were to count on our hands the number of times we actually “talked” to each other. The  phone call came at his request via my next oldest brother whose voice I was also shocked to hear…        S o I adhered to the request, and I am happy that I did because the call then resulted in a later, in-person visit, as a result of me traveling to the area for a wedding—which resulted in an approximate four—four 1/2 hour long conversation at his kitchen table. An evening & conversation that I will treasure for the rest of living days.  And I hope he feels the same. He spoke of “atonement”, ...

M ichelle Obama; Gabrielle Union; Mariah Carey; Brook Shields; Tyra Banks; Angela Bassett, and Chrissy Tiegen are just a few of the famous names that we can put a face with of women that have been transparent about their struggles with infertility—-or an inability to carry a pregnancy to term, if they could conceive at all.    I want to share another side—-perhaps perspective to this reality.               N ot every face   and name are known—-not every woman is famous, wealthy, or willing to share this tender reality. And for some women it may even  be a root of bitterness or resentment-—for others it can stir up an obsessive-like behavior and pathology over other women’s pregnancies or children. I share this because I was the object of both extremes. I had one woman who could no longer conceive randomly sharing pictures of my youngest, (infant) daughter with strangers and referencing her ambiguously as if to omit that she wasn’t h...

Personal Persistence Motto: P ersist, persist, persist… keep at it, and persist some more. Personally speaking, endeavoring towards a goal,  vision, purpose or mission can be challenging at times (most times), and that’s oftentimes when “people” are there to remind you, that “Maybe it’s not meant to be”, and specifically as it relates to Christians, “Then it’s not God’s will.” With a degree of caution, I refute that—but state, that simply isn’t true. I insert caution because of course, what we are doing and the “WHY” matters. But maximizing gifts, talents, creativity is your innate, God- given resource (s) for flourishing here in the Earth. That’s what your gifting is for. Added to that when you endeavor to do anything for the improvement, charity, good will of others-— it’s God’s will. And because those endeavors and gifts require effort to refine and reach its desired end does not mean you are to abandon the effort. Imagine that— imagine if everyone had given up because it was ha...

Live your life. Properly occupy your space and do in it what you are purposed to do excellently. Join forces with other people, places, and purposes for the good of mankind. Live your life. Love who you love. Love even those who don’t necessarily love you. Love when it’s hard to do— that’s what real love should do. Live your life. Leave a meaningful legacy behind. Give something away, money, food, a new outfit—something unused. Nothing you gain materially can go with you when you go, that’s a reality. But what you do for others will outlive your mortality. Live your life. Laugh hard. Play hard. Have fun. Do something you haven’t done since you were a child. Ride a bike, play jacks, jump rope.  Live your life. Honor the God you serve. Respect the boundaries He has set — not for Him, but it’s you He wants to protect.  Live your life. Take a trip. Read a good book. Treat yourself to a fine dining experience— even if it’s just you. See life outside of yourself, because there so mu...

I am trying to bury my head in the sand and act like this Will and Chris thing never happened, but it’s not helping… I certainly wish it hadn’t happened.    I read and reread Will’s newly released book as a life reference, because there is so much to unpack—so much to learn. And in this moment I see and truly believe the wounds of a boy that has not gotten past the pain of being too afraid to defend his battered mother is still trying to compensate for that. And believe me, women ESPECIALLY Black woman want to feel protected and defended when necessary— like the way Corey Booker supported, defended and honored Ketanji Brown with his platform, intelligence, and reinforcement of her publicly. Obviously physical harm requires a different type of response, but this was not that. Will had the perfect opportunity to do exactly what Corey did in an display of honoring his wife. Instead he humiliated himself. And if anyone understands the impact and consequences of abuse and unresolv...

  It’s  October already! I am certain for most of us—we hadn’t yet wrapped our minds around September—-it feels to have escaped us— to have come and gone quickly—to have slipped through time as if sand through fingers. I am confident—the first of the month feels like it has come too fast for a couple of reasons. But here’s the truth—a stone cold reality—you are correct! Since 2020 the Earth has been spinning faster and faster on its axis— in 2020—it (The Earth) had moved faster than it had in 50 years! And now, according to Business Insider—it appears in 2021, it’s spinning even faster! (Neilson, S., January.2021). So for me, as most things do, this leads me to search out what God says about it—“ time .” And true-to-form... it’s a lot! The Bible is saturated with advise, prophecy, and instruction on  time . So, I had to extract that which would be more concise, maybe relevant, and applicable in the moment. Because just yesterday an associate of mine shared their aspiratio...

  B eautiful Sunday morning! ☀️ I hope you make time to pray today— I mean really pray —-seek quiet time and sit with God this morning-don’t rush past Him like He’s a transient passerby, but stop and welcome Him in for tea, coffee—and sit & talk with Him. See Him— because He’s everywhere— Listen to Him because He speaks to your innermost parts. Take time this morning to —pray—praise, and position yourself in preparation for the new week ahead. Have a wonderful day!☀️💜🙏🏾🕊 Copyright © by 2021 Christie Shaw

  I remember when I was starting out with my psych courses— I had a “Positive Psychology” class. Good class— some worthwhile information. But as I started noticing the trending of Positive Psychology in all other industry, e.g., work, social media, sports, and then but not lastly— in the church... I started taking notice. And it caught my ear because what was starting to happen wasn’t necessarily “positive.” But what was happening was coddling— and because people were being coddled— they were being misled. So yes— you are beautiful—but it doesn’t mean you don’t need to acknowledge that you are neglecting some other facet of your well-being —that needs to be remedied — yes you are capable of accomplishing great things, but it doesn’t mean no one should speak to you or counsel you about your lack of integrity or lack of competence —and yes — you are totally active in your social media presence — but it doesn’t mean that you or others in your circle should IGNORE that just because yo...

I  remember being a little girl— standing in a rainy cemetery in a white two-piece dress and jacket—trimmed in lime green, (as my aunt Ruth always took such care to the details of my appearance) with a white carnation flower in my tightly curled hair—watching as my mother was being placed in the ground — a voice— “I will take care of you—you will be okay.” So, I am reminded this morning that—the riches of God’s Grace are what has sustained me—He has provided for Me— protected me ALL of my life—despite everything I got wrong. The world’s ideas and mandates—have never been my source of a soul that was well. I used to sing that song to the top of my lungs, “It is well—it is well with my soul!” Not even realizing that it wasn’t—my soul was wrecked by trauma—loss—abandonment—physical-verbal abuse, and rejection—BUT—when I came to understand fully— that it is well with my Spirit — the place where that mustard seed resided-abided—that place where faith would take hold of salvation — that ...

This morning while working with my trainer at the gym—I really became agitated-irritated by him as he sped up my routine, increased my weights, and the amount of time I was to remain in the one position. His voice-rapid and loud piercing my ears — almost felt intrusive at 7:30am on a Saturday morning when I wanted nothing more than to be in my pajamas hanging around bedside after working all week —for which I arise at 4:00am daily—to be out the door at 5:15am—daily. So, in my mind a little sleep on Saturday morning seemed a fair and reasonable thing to aspire for. But instead; here I am at the gym with a ego-bulging trainer who’s determined to prove that he’s the best—at my expense—and after one loud demand too many...I turned to him—snapping, “What is wrong with you?!” And without blinking his eyes, he snapped back, “What are you here for? When you came to me —telling me what you wanted to achieve —remember what that was —so the question is—have you forgotten what you said you wanted...

   The minute you say, “mental health” stigma is invoked. Stop that! Your mental health is the entirety of your being—and determines the quality of your “be.” So, take care of your mental health today and everyday.  I nsist on Self-preservation;  P ray, meditate, pray, and meditate AGAIN; R emoval of and from toxic. negative and yes EVIL people, places & things;  L isten to Music (classical music is good for your brain); D ance—I mean it—turn on some music and dance like no one is looking! E xercise (Get out with nature—plant some flowers—seeds or potted) R ead —sometimes a good book can take you places you may otherwise never get to go— teach you things you might otherwise never know. H ealthy food intake (even a nice fast—lots of water, veggies and fruits); S elect Healthy people in your orbit (it’s like gravity—you can’t defy it—stay around negative people—you and your outcomes will be negatively impacted) D o a spa day— full body massage, facial, sip te...